"Yeh sure," he mumbled at me. It was not the most reassuring of things in the world. I stepped outside, grumbling under my breath and looking around for the storage area. A few quick directions from passersby and I found it, tossing half a dozen posts and a few rolls of the chicken wire in a wheelbarrow. As I trudged back to the 'lab', for lack of a better word, I thought hard about my situation.
My first instinct, as it almost always is, is to run away. Find a hidden, defensible location, and just weather the storm. While I am certainly loyal, to an extent, Shinra is just a paycheck, nothing more. I have no deep misconceptions about my place in that world. I am to them, just as they are to me, a resource, and nothing more. In the same manner, while I have certainly more than enjoyed my time here in Wutai, and have made many friends, and even agree with their struggle to a small extent, I harbor no delusions about their success in this war. I know all too well what the Shinra are capable of, and what Wutai is capable of.
My self preservation instinct is, shall we say, extremely prevalent. And it's screaming at me to just run away. But I know that to desert now would just end badly for me. Shinra's not going to let a SOLDIER, even a lowly 3rd class like me, just walk off with no repercussions. In the same manner, if I stay here and am found out, that would probably be even worse for me. I crack my neck in frustration. I should never have gotten so involved in this situation. As useful as these experiences have been, staying in Mideel with my family would have been the best option.
Well. Too late for that now. I settle the wheelbarrow down next to the doctor, still not having reached a viable course of action. For now, I'm stuck with this.